Being a mother often comes with self-imposed pressure and doubts about our abilities. We sometimes question if we’re truly good mothers. However, it’s crucial to recognize that raising children is filled with unexpected challenges beyond our control. Difficult situations can arise, affecting our lives despite our best efforts to anticipate or prevent them.
Things Moms Shouldn’t Feel Guilty About
Sadly, the criticism and lack of support from those closest to us can exacerbate our self-doubt. Ultimately, we blame ourselves and need to apologize for our actions. We must break free from this cycle to be good moms. Let’s explore what moms should never feel the need to apologize for!
1. Taking a Break
Feeling guilty for desiring some time off without the constant presence of our children is a common struggle. But it’s important to remember that needing a break is completely normal. It doesn’t diminish our love for our kids; it simply means we require moments of relaxation and self-care. Like everyone else, mothers need their me-time, especially when everyday demands leave little room for respite.
Communicating our need for a break to our partners is essential. They can’t read our minds, so it’s vital to express what we’re feeling and what kind of support we require. Remember, you have every right to take a break and recharge.
2. Show Yourself Some Love
Mothers should not hesitate to express love for themselves through gift-giving. It is okay for a mom to splurge once in a while for herself without feeling guilty or thinking that it’s better to use the money for family needs.
Not acknowledging your needs is the recipe for a mom to get burnt out and suffer excessive stress. Once in a while, during your break time, you can book an appointment at a salon or spa to get the much-needed treatment for yourself. You can also shop for new clothes, beauty tools, household appliance gadgets, and anything you need or want. You can shop online for all you need without worry through Temu.
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3. A Messy House or Appearance
As moms, we juggle countless responsibilities. If unexpected visitors drop by and our house isn’t perfectly tidy, it’s okay. A messy floor or unwashed dishes don’t make us bad mothers. We shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves when we lack the time or energy to clean everything. Taking care of our children is a full-time job, and they can create new messes in minutes, regardless of our cleaning efforts.
Additionally, it’s perfectly fine if we don’t always look put together. Motherhood can be exhausting; torn clothes or a postpartum tummy are nothing to feel sorry about. No one has the right to comment on our appearance, whether our hair is messy or we wear the same clothes repeatedly.
4. Limiting Access to the Baby
When a newborn arrives, it seems like everyone wants to hold and cuddle them. However, our maternal prerogative determines what’s comfortable and safe for our babies. Their sensitivity and well-being take precedence over others’ desires. It’s acceptable to kindly ask people not to touch or hold the baby if necessary. Not everyone has an automatic right to physical contact just because they have a child.
5. Parenting Style
Criticism of our parenting style is not uncommon, and we often face judgment from others who believe their way is superior. While some advice may be helpful, motherhood is a personal journey of growth and learning. Trusting our instincts is paramount when it comes to our children. Each child is unique, and understanding their needs should precede external opinions.
6. Breastfeeding in Public
Leaving the house with a newborn can be daunting, but when the need arises, breastfeeding becomes necessary, regardless of location. Mothers should never apologize for feeding their children in public. Our babies’ well-being surpasses the opinions of others. The situation becomes simpler once we let go of worrying about what people might think. In reality, most people won’t even notice or pay attention to us nursing our babies.
7. Seeking Support
As a mother, the pressure to juggle multiple responsibilities can be immense, especially if you choose to stay at home. During moments of overwhelming stress, it’s completely fine to seek additional help to ease the burden of managing the household. For instance, contacting your closest relative and asking for help can provide much-needed assistance. Remember, there is no reason to feel guilty for asking for support when you genuinely need it, and no one should judge you.
8. Validating Your Feelings
Becoming a mother can unearth a whirlwind of emotions we may never have anticipated. We might cry unexpectedly, feel overly sensitive, or question our abilities. Amidst the overwhelming blend of love and frustration, it’s natural to feel perplexed. However, it’s important to remember that it’s perfectly acceptable to express your emotions without the need for apologies.
It’s worth noting that there may be other situations where you feel compelled to apologize or feel sorry. To all the moms out there, remember two important things: be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Avoid being too harsh in self-judgment and embrace understanding and empathy towards your journey.
